First-person accounts describing emotional and psychological experiences for people researching real-world perspectives on intensive meditation practice.
I Am Slowly Going Crazy: Surviving a 10-Day Silent Vipassana Retreat
The author shares a wry, honest account of her experience attending a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation course. The retreat involved strict rules—no speaking, reading, writing, music, or indulgence—and up to 11 hours of meditation per day. For someone extroverted and prone to insomnia, the course was a serious challenge, producing sleep deprivation, obsessive thoughts, and moments of mild insanity.
Despite the discomfort, she stayed the course out of curiosity and determination, observing her mind and body in unprecedented ways. She describes becoming acutely aware of thought patterns and emotions, learning to sit with discomfort, and developing a surprising measure of self-compassion. She also injects humour into her account, sharing absurd mental diversions and the unexpected difficulties of enduring prolonged silence.
While she acknowledges some tangible benefits, such as increased self-awareness and calmness, her final reflections are cautionary. She stresses that this kind of retreat is not for everyone and suggests there are less extreme ways to step outside one’s comfort zone. The narrative blends humour, exasperation, and genuine insight, providing readers with both an entertaining story and a realistic sense of what a silent meditation retreat entails.
Despite the discomfort, she stayed the course out of curiosity and determination, observing her mind and body in unprecedented ways. She describes becoming acutely aware of thought patterns and emotions, learning to sit with discomfort, and developing a surprising measure of self-compassion. She also injects humour into her account, sharing absurd mental diversions and the unexpected difficulties of enduring prolonged silence.
While she acknowledges some tangible benefits, such as increased self-awareness and calmness, her final reflections are cautionary. She stresses that this kind of retreat is not for everyone and suggests there are less extreme ways to step outside one’s comfort zone. The narrative blends humour, exasperation, and genuine insight, providing readers with both an entertaining story and a realistic sense of what a silent meditation retreat entails.