Personal Experiences After Vipassana Retreats

A podcast series recounting a personal experience of attending a 10-day Vipassana retreat, followed by the onset of a manic psychotic episode and subsequent depression.

After years of dedicated Vipassana practice, the author takes “gardening leave” from meditation to confront its shadow side, including harmful community dynamics and underreported adverse effects.
Drawing on insights from Willoughby Britton and Cheetah House, they recommit to a more balanced, self-directed practice grounded in informed consent and compassion.

The article recounts a personal experience of intensive Vipassana meditation that initially brought profound peace but escalated into severe involuntary movements, emotional flooding, and psychological distress. The author highlights how the retreat’s institutional response was insufficient, leading to ejection and minimal support, and situates the experience within both scientific and Buddhist frameworks. It concludes that while meditation can be transformative, intensive practice carries real risks, and retreats should adopt trauma-informed support and structured follow-up to safeguard practitioners.

A personal account of undertaking multiple silent retreats, culminating in a 60-day Burmese monastery retreat that led to intense physical movements, hallucinations, paranoia and lasting psychological distress. The author reflects on the lack of adequate support, the long recovery process, and the need for greater awareness of adverse meditation effects.

A personal reflection on the risks of intensive meditation and “dry” mindfulness practice, describing experiences of depersonalisation, derealisation, anxiety, depression and bodily dysregulation. The author explores how rigid adherence to philosophical doctrines can exacerbate dissociation and highlights the need for compassion and embodied self-awareness.